Ma pun in pat pentru încă o noapte de calvar. Nici nu mai stiu cand a inceput totul, dar stiu ca nu mai suport. Imi este tot mai greu sa ma concentrez si sa imi aduc aminte cine sunt. Ziua sunt o persoana normală iar noaptea sunt alta persoana. Încă nu mi-am dat seama care din ele imi place. Stau întinsă in pat si astept ca somniferele sa isi faca efectul. Trebuie să le schimb des, doctorii nu vor sa imi dea ceva mai puternic. Își fac efectul doar în prima săptămână iar apoi nimic. Închid ochii si cred ca adorm. M-am amăgit din nou. De data asta sunt in picioare iar in patul din fata mea doarme o femeie. Ce sa caute o femeie în casa mea? Nu stiu cine este, dar vreau sa o omor. O urăsc, dar nu stiu de ce. Stiu doar ca vreau sa o omor. Nu stiu cum am ajuns in camera ei sau daca este camera mea. Nu mi se pare nimic cunoscut aici. Este noapte. Doarme. Vreau sa ii înfig un cuțit lung de 40 de centimetri si lat de un centimetru. Nu imi plac cutitele si totusi am in mana unul atat de mare. Vreau sa il înfig in abdomen, dar pare prea simplu. Cred ca as vrea mai mult sa ii tai gâtul, dar și asta e prea simplu. Dacă i-as tăia gâtul ar muri prea repede. Ii înfig totusi cuțitul în abdomen. Incepe sa tipe. Ii pun mana la gura pentru ca nu vreau sa ii trezească pe ceilalți din casa. De unde stiu ca mai sunt si altii in casa? Las intrebarile la o parte si imi satisfac plăcerea nebună de a o ucide Vreau sa ma simt bine si asta ma face sa ma simt bine. Rotesc cuțitul în abdomenul ei si il scot. Unde oare sa il mai înfig? Trebuie să o fac să sufere mult înainte de a muri. Sau poate ca nici nu o sa o omor. O sa o las asa pana cand ii va curge tot sângele. Sa moara in agonie. Ii înfig cuțitul în piciorul drept, în pulpa. Nu sangereaza prea mult si asta nu imi da nici o satisfacție. Vreau mai mult sânge. Ii înfig cuțitul și în celălalt picior iar apoi in mâini. Sângele curge de peste tot. Nu vad prea bine pentru ca este întuneric, dar simt. Miros sângele ei peste tot. Imi place, ma excită si vreau mai mult sânge. Nu ii mai pot tine mana la gura asa ca ii acopăr fata cu o perna, dar nu înainte de a ii înfige cuțitul în gât. Undeva unde sa fie mortal. Curge mult sânge și asta imi ofera o plăcere nebuneasca. Nu stiu cum am intrat in casa si nici nu stiu unde anume sunt. Stiu doar ca vreau sa o chinui mult înainte de a o ucide. Trebuie să o tai mai mult. Sa curgă sânge de peste tot. Are un sânge atat de frumos. Cred ca este tânără sau poate ca nu suferă de nici o boala. Sângele miroase bine. Vreau mai mult sânge și încep să o tai si pe mâini. Trebuie să îi tai venele. De acolo curge sângele foarte repede. Nu o mai aud. Cred ca a leșinat. Ii simt pulsul. Este foarte slab, dar e bine. Încă traieste. Ma mai joc putin cu ea si observ ca am facut niste semne pe corpul ei. Nici nu mi-am dat seama ca eu scriam pe corpul ei camd o taiam. Nu stiu ce sunt semnele alea, nu știu daca sunt litere sau ceva ce face parte dintr-o sectă. Ajung in patul meu. Nu stiu cum, dar ma întind in patul meu, ma acopăr si ma uit pe tavan. Încă nu pot dormi. Cred ca doar am fost să fumez o țigară. Nu am ucis pe nimeni, era doar imaginația mea bolnavă. Sau poate ca am ucis o femeie? Mi se părea atat de real si totusi nu am un cuțit în mână. Nu am nici macar pete de sânge pe mine. Am remușcări, dar nu stiu de ce. Cred ca e cazul sa dorm. Este deja dimineata si mi se închid ochii.
Stati linistiti. Nu am ucis pe nimeni si orice asemănare cu ce am descris eu aici nu are nici o legatura cu mine. Este doar o parte din cartea la care lucrez noaptea. Asta sunt eu noaptea. Nu pot termina un roman de dragoste, dar pot scrie la nesfârșit despre crime si alte chestii horror. Nu stiam ca pot fi atat de sadică. Mai sadic este faptul că imi place.
Books for Life 
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